Thursday, 29 July 2010

Twisthorn Bellow

Twisthorn Bellow (2010)
Atomic Fez Publishing


* The Wings of Phoebus
* The Pots of Pan
* The Skin of Marsyas
* The Feet of Sciron
* The Earlobes of Æsop
* The Shoelaces of Jupiter
* The Clangers of Paris

A full-length metafictional novel describing the "unusual escapades of a self-exploding golem with a twisted horn and attitude somewhere on the astral plane and also on foot right here..." Partly inspired by Mike Mignola's 'Hellboy' character, partly inspired by the works of Philip José Farmer. Cover art by Steve Upham.

Mister Gum

Mister Gum (2009)
Dog Horn Publishing

A compound novel detailing the life and adventures of Mr Gum, an obscene and pompous Creative Writing tutor, with his sidekicks, Fellatio Nelson and Detective Inspector Ynch Short of the Yard. The novel is divided into four parts. The first part is a satire on the teaching of creative writing; the second is a satire on crime fiction; the third is a satire on detective fiction; and the fourth is a satire against satire. Only the second edition of this novel contains the 'Sticky White Hands' and 'I am a Slimy Man' chapters.


Part One: The Creative Writing Tutor
* Oh, Whistle While You Work, and I’ll Come to You, My Dwarf * Boo to a Goose * Whaling Well * The Tenant of Arcimboldo Hall * Canon Alberic’s Photo-Album

Part Two: Up a Gumtree
* The Groin Scratcher * Plop Fiction

Part Three: Spermicidal Maniacs
* Where the Sun Doesn’t Shine * Cop Hospital * Plums and Oriels

Part Four: Gum, Set and Match
* The Glue of the Scream * Sticky White Hands * I am a Slimy Man

Engelbrecht Again!

Engelbrecht Again! (2008)
Dead Letter Press

A sequel to Maurice Richardson's classic 1950s gothic comedy, The Exploits of Engelbrecht.

"The Further Exploits of Engelbrecht, abstracted from The Secret Chronicles of The Surrealist Sportsman's Club by A.N. Other, hidden on the orders of the Ruling Committee but dug up again by Rhys Hughes, and authenticated at perilous emotional cost by a selection of mythological beasts including Harpies, Unicorns, Manticores, Zaratans, Vainglorious Chimeras, the Vegetable Lamb of Tartary and a Squonk..."


Gauntlet of Gorgons * Far on Bicycles * Young Werther Cheers Up * Surfing the Solar Wind * The North Face of the Ego * Tug of Worlds * Engelbrecht at the Eisteddfod * A Mermaid Supper * Last Tango in Atlantis * A Sandal Waiting to Happen * A Monkey for all Seasons * The Destruction of Destruction * Engelbrecht and Ubu * A Sumwot Labud Sattire * The Chronic Argonauts Get Better

The Postmodern Mariner

The Postmodern Mariner (2008)
Screaming Dreams

"A short book of implausible adventures featuring absurdities, anachronisms, exaggerations, outrageous puns, pirates, mythological beings, giant cups of tea and the occasional metafictional trick..."


The Münchhausen of Porthcawl
Castor on Troubled Waters * Canis Raver * The Plucked Plant * When Wales Played Asgård * Interstellar Domestic * The Cream-Jest of Unset Custard * The Day the Town of Porthcawl was Accidentally Twinned with the Capital of the Cheese and Biscuits Empire

Piper at the Fates of Ooze
The Lip Service

The Postmodern Mariner in Person
Rommel Cobra's Swimming Carnival

The Less Lonely Planet

The Less Lonely Planet (2008)
Humdrumming Press

"Tales of Here, There & Happenstance"


Foreword * Thinner Air * Troubleroot * Goblin Sunrise * The Two Kingdoms * The Taming of the Old Woman who Lived in a Shrew * Thief Among Thieves * Below the Carnival * The Muse Ouroboros * Accordion Beach * The Mice Will Play * The Desiccated Sage * Two Fat Men in a Very Thin Country * Niddala * Sending Freedom Far Away * The Impregnable Fortress * The Bathing Bells * Doom Laden Haven * The Six Sentinels * In Moonville * But it Pours * The City that was Itself * The Man who Gargled with Gargoyle Juice * The Tallest Midget * The Kissable Climes * The Non-Existent Viscount in the Trees * When the Microscopic Giants Took Over Happenstance * Venus and Stupid * Von Ryan’s Daughter’s Express * In Sunsetville * Fable with Turkish Coffee * Sir Cheapskate * Playing Impossible Instruments * Afterword

The Crystal Cosmos

The Crystal Cosmos (2007)
PS Publishing

A short science-fiction novel.

"In an infinity of universes, where everything must happen, there exists one cosmos that is particularly strange. And not only strange but of immeasurable value... When interstellar politics faces a new kind of metaphysics the outcome of the struggle is always in doubt. Beautiful Sappho Ritsos has an immense responsibility on her shoulders, for she has been charged with the task of saving a solar system made of solid diamond from the most seductive and manipulative space pirate in the history of commerce. Peace on two separate Earths is at stake, the economies of nations and the sanity of humanity itself! But how does all this concern a simple goatherd and a man made of bronze?"

Sereia de Curitiba

A Sereia de Curitiba (2007)
Livros de Areia

A book of linked stories in Portuguese. This book does not exist in English.

"De Curitiba ao Funchal, de Butrint a Streslau, das montanhas da Ásia Menor à Lua e de volta ao fundo dos mares tropicais: eis a rota desta alucinante aventura. Se a vida é um jogo, Rhys Hughes joga-a com o baralho da mais audaciosa fantasia, sob as regras de um humor absurdo e contagiante."


The English titles are given after the Portuguese titles.

* A sereia de Curitiba (The Mermaid of Curitiba)
* Colheres de amor em perigo (Lovespoons in Peril)
* Os tritões lunares (The Lunar Tritons)
* Tudo para nada (All for Nothing)
* Horizonte eterno (Eternal Horizon)
* Cultos da carga da Ilha do Beijo Picante (The Cargo Cults of Salty Kiss Island)
* Regresso a zenda (Return to Zenda)
* Falsa alvorada de papagaios (False Dawn of Parrots)
* Os sinos imersos (The Bathing Bells)
* Gala das canções implausíveis (The Gala of Implausible Songs)

At the Molehills of Madness

At the Molehills of Madness (2006)
Pendragon Press

A collection of ironic horror and dark fantasy stories.


* The Fury Machine * The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Dirigible * Cutting Back * The Cat * The Smile Inside * Lunette * Necessity is the Mother * A Length of Rope * The Seed of the Damned * A Family Resemblance * Rancid Kumquats are Not the Only Fruit * Six Characters in Search of an Executioner * The Swiss Family Abacus * The Second Picture * Madonna Park * The Death of Ganymede * The Skull Farmers * The Crippled Gollywog's Fox Hunt * Crash With Shopping Trolleys * The Business Flight * The Sound of Music in Hell * The Century Just Gone * Sailing to the Island of Tools on the Ship of Fools * The Gibbon in the Garrett * The Decay of the Pilgrim

A New Universal History of Infamy

A New Universal History of Infamy (2004)
Night Shade Books

The book serves as a parody and homage to Jorge Luis Borges' collection A Universal History of Infamy... It was published in Portuguese translation as Uma nova história universal da infâmia in April 2006. Greek and Spanish editions appeared in 2007. The contents that follow are for the original American edition only and include the names of the authors who are parodied in the relevant sections.


Preface to the Unpublished Edition
Preface to an Imaginary Edition

* The Brutal Buddha, Baron von Ungern-Sternberg
* The Honest Liar, Denis Zachaire
* Chewer of Hearts, François l'Olonnais
* Trader of Doom, Basil Zaharoff
* The Worm Supreme, Francisco Solano Lopez
* The Worst Hero, Dick Turpin
* The Maddest King, Henry Christophe

* Streetcorner Mouse

* City of Blinks (Herbert Quain)
* The Landscape Player (Fergus Hall)
* The Spanish Cyclops (Felipe Alfau)
* The Unsubtle Cages (Thomas Ligotti)
* Celia the Impaler (Michel Leiris)
* Alone with a Longwinded Soul (D.F. Lewis)
* Monkeybreath (J. MeerKat & M. Rabbits - from Thackery T. Lambshead)
* Of Exactitude in Theology (Jaromir Hladik)

* Finding the Book of Sand (Jorge Luis Borges)
* The Hyperacusis of Chumbly Mucker (John Sladek)
* Ictus Purr (parody of Hughes in the style of the reader)

* Life and the Plumbline (only included in the limited edition)

The Percolated Stars

The Percolated Stars (2003)
Razorblade Press

A novel made up of three parts:

* Ultima Thule
* Thais von Oort
* The Wardrobe World

Journeys Beyond Advice

Journeys Beyond Advice (2002)
Sarob Press


* The World Beyond the Stairwell
* A Rape of Knots
* Mah Jong Breath
* The Swine Taster
* The Semi-Precious Isle
* The Herb Garden of Earthly Delights
* The Singularity Spectres

Nowhere Near Milk Wood

Nowhere Near Milk Wood (2002)
Prime Books

"Milk Wood is not a nice place to be. With the passing of generations, it has curdled. At night it casts a buttery light on the moon. Fortunately, all the action in this book occurs elsewhere. It mostly happens in a warped version of the music industry or in an impossible tavern or in a future where everything is illegal. It sometimes even happens outside the narrative. But never in Milk Wood. Never. Milk Wood is barely even mentioned. For it is not a nice place to be."


Martyr to Music
In the Moonless Gutter * Adventures in the Grin Trade * Nowhere Near Milk Wood

Taller Stories
Prologue * Rainbow's End * Ghost Holiday * Those Wonderful Words * Learning to Fly * Learning to Fall * The Banshee * The Queen of Jazz * Anna and the Dragon * Three Friends * The Rake and the Fool * Goblin Sunrise * The Juggler * The Peat Fire * Knight on a Bear Mountain * Something About a Demon * The Furious Walnuts * The Illustrated Student * The Story with a Clever Title * The Silver Necks * Never Hug an Aardvark * Epilogue

The Long Chin of the Law
The Catastrophe Trials * The Crime Continuum * Judgment Day * The Thirty-Nine Million Steps * The Impossible Mirror * Crawling King Prawn * Pyramids of the Purple Atom * The Suppertime Sting * The Mischief Towers

Stories From a Lost Anthology

Stories From a Lost Anthology (2002)
Tartarus Press


Introduction by Michael Moorcock * Portrait of an Artist As a Rusty Bus * The Lute and the Lamp * Toastmaster, Buttermistress * Journey Through a Wall * The Marsh Callow * Story from a Lost Anthology * Less Is More * Jellydämmerung! * The Macroscopic Teapot * Fallow * The Crab * Pyramid and Thisbe * The Lover and the Grave * The Evil Side of Reginald Burke * Asparagus on the Tooth * A Languid Elagabalus of the Tombs * Owlbeast * Tin in the Soul * Cockatrice at the Door * Robin Hood’s New Mother * The New Giraldus

The Smell of Telescopes

The Smell of Telescopes (2000)
Tartarus Press


The Banker of Ingolstadt * Ten Grim Bottles * Spermaceti Whiskers * The Blue Dwarf * The Purloined Liver * The Squonk Laughed * Telegram Ma'am * Depressurised Ghost Story * Thanatology Spleen * The Tell-Tale Nose * A Girl Like a Doric Column * The Orange Goat * Nothing More Common * Muscovado Lashes * A Person Not in the Story * Bridge Over Troubled Blood * Burke and Rabbit * The Yellow Imp * Lanolin Brows * The Haunted Womb * Mister Humphrey's Clock's Inheritance * There was a Ghoul Dwelt by a Mosque * The Purple Pastor * The Hush of Falling Houses * The Sickness of Satan * Omophagia Ankles

Rated by Michael Moorcock as one of the ten best "overlooked odd speculative fiction classics".

The second edition was issued by Eibonvale Press in 2007.

Rawhead & Bloody Bones

Rawhead & Bloody Bones (1998)
Tanjen Ltd


* Rawhead & Bloody Bones
* Elusive Plato

Two linked novellas packaged into one volume. The first novella is one of the major installments in the 'Chaud-Mellé' cycle of stories. The second was written in the "shape of a tesseract" and features the extraordinary philosophical villain, Bartleby Cadiz.


Eyelidiad (1996)
Tanjen Ltd

A novella concerning the adventures of the highwayman Robin Darktree as he searches for gold he buried when he was younger. Having forgotten the location of the trove, he carries a living portrait of his younger self on his back who does know where it is, but who seeks to double cross his partner!

Worming the Harpy

Worming the Harpy (1995)
Tartarus Press

Second edition (paperback) issued by Tartarus Press in February 2011.


Cat o' Nine Tales * Worming the Harpy * The Falling Star * Quasimodulus * The Good News Grimoire * The Forest Chapel Bell * Flintlock Jaw * Velocity Oranges * A Carpet Seldom Found * The Chimney * One Man's Meat * The Man Who Mistook His Wife's Hat for the Mad Hatter's Wife * Cello I Love You * What to do When the Devil Comes Round for Tea * Arquebus for Harlequin * Éclair de Lune * Grinding the Goblin

Note: 'The Forest Chapel Bell' only appears in the second edition.