The Graphologist and Other Stories

The Graphologist and Other Stories (2023)

Gibbon Moon Books

"Ghosts, puppets, and demonic coincidences. Forbidding symmetries and paradoxes of perdition. A quartet of tales that will throb like tiny troubled brains inside your expanded mind."

"Hughes’ world is a magical one, and his language is the most magical thing of all.” — T.E.D. KLEIN

"A dazzling disintegration of the reality principle. A rite of passage to the greater world beyond common sense. Raises the bar on profundity and sets a comic standard for the tragic limits of our human experience. Like Beckett on nitrous oxide. Like Kafka with a brighter sense of humour.” — A.A. ATTANASIO

Contents:

The Tipping Point * The Puppet Show * The Filtered Ones * The Graphologist

My Little Glib Book of Flippant Fairy Tales

My Little Glib Book of Flippant Fairy Tales (2023)

Gibbon Moon Books

Fairy Tales. Also fables, parables, flash fictions, routines, conceits and rambunctiously inflated flapdoodles. Inventive whimsy, excessive exploits, absurd adventures and paradoxical picaresques.

Contents:

Suttee And Sweep * Multicoloured Leaves In Bright Spirals * When Pushkin Came To Shovekin * The Condemned Man * The Ugliest Idol In Christendom * Snake Belts * Boiling Water * Sic Semper Tyrannis * The Tea Party * A Worn Road * Not A Patch * Travels With My Antinomy * The Tongue * The Anvil Cloud * The Apple Of My Sky * The Taste Of Turtle Tears * The Improbable Velocipede * Blocking The Flue * The Explorer's Porters * The Insincerity Club * The Tea Factory * The Martian Monocles * Unicorn On The Cob * The Musical Universe * Train Of Thought * The Deaf Sailor * The World Within * A Deep Breath * Counting Sheep * My Swiss Neighbour * The Midair Meeting * Trombonhomie * Someone Told Me * Moonchaser * The Square Circle * Canute A Little * Rhino Cop * Poor Visibility * Alone With A Longwinded Soul * Collection Of Tails * Zucchini Overdrive * Musicians In The Cold * Que Pena! * How Don Cosquillas Earned His Name * Description Of A Liar * The Tools * The Shortest Month * Mad March Stylist * The Reversed Comma * Inside The Minotaur * The Integers * The Shrug * The Burning Ears * Note To Oneself * Said The Spook * Read All About It * Putting Things Off * Sweet Talk * Chiron At Suppertime

My Big Glib Book of Flippant Fairy Tales

My Big Glib Book of Flippant Fairy Tales (2023)

Gibbon Moon Books

Flippant Fairy Tales. Also fables, parables, flash fictions, routines, conceits and rambunctiously inflated flapdoodles. Hundreds and hundreds of pages of inventive whimsy, excessive exploits, absurd adventures and paradoxical picaresques.

Contents:

Sinbad's Ear * The Fairy And The Dinosaur * The Dungeon * Zumbooruk * The Post Office * Nookie Nocking * A Quick Drink * Diplomatic Immunity * The Spanish Cyclops * He Was Mighty * The Days Of The Turbans * The Cowardly Custard Apple * The Desiccated Sage * The Moon And The Well * The Thinnest Warrior * Pinocchio's Brother * Humbaba * Two Fat Men In A Very Thin Country * The Six Sentinels * But It Pours * Knight On A Bear Mountain * A Word In Your Shell-Like * The Caravan * Below The Carnival * Something Fishy * The Sea Indoors * Climbing The Tallest Tree In The World * Every Single Day * Pirates Of The Carob Bean * The Oceans * My Nose * Where Everyone Wins * The Stuffed Goddess * The Shy Desperadoes * Ocean Of Words * Walking The Wrong Plank * The Prodigal Beard * Sending Freedom Far Away * The Impregnable Fortress * His Unstable Shape * The Tallest Midget * Fable With Turkish Coffee * The Kissable Climes * My Index Finger * Siddhartha * Waiting For Breakfast * Simple Physics * Fabulists Of Failure * The Palace * Likeable Mouse * The God Of Thunder * The Dog-Eared Gods * Islands In The Bathtub * The Juggler * Daedalus * The Coffee Drinker * Pressed Flowers * How Cold Is It? * Dr Jekyll * Hogwash And Bum Note * The Slipper Exchange * Apeman Dilemma * Bending The Knee * Curtains * Hassan-I-Sabbah * The Non-Existent Viscount In The Trees * The Memory Palace * The Time Tunnel Orchid * Starfish Wish * When The Microscopic Giants Took Over Happenstance * The Mirror In The Looking Glass * Zeno Said * The Expanding Room * The Path Of Garden Forks * A Gorgon Reversed * Unsung Space Monster * Venus And Stupid * The Soft Landing * Bathtime For Moons * The Hippy Beach * Milk And Ladders * The Knees * Von Ryan's Daughter's Express * The Bungle Duke * Najort Esroh * The New Knight * Sorites Speculation * A Cosmic Fox * The Truth Is Out There * Vampires In Space * The Sleeping Bag * King Midas * Point X * The West Pole * Bangers The Mash * Net Profit * Defending Oneself * Silky Salathiel * Fringes And Bangs * Monsieur Choux * The Rowing Machine * Market Forces * A Real Nowhere Man * The Mouth Of Hell * The Strings Of Segovia * Paired Down * French Toast * The Target * The Bailiff * The Curtains * Napoleon * Little People, Inc. * Stand And Deliver * The Caveman * Fox In Socks * A Glass Of Wine * Trophy Wife * The Goat That Gloated * Above His Station * The Parable Of The Homeless Fable * The Plug * The Queue * Silly Goose * Chins * The Skeleton * Your Arm In Mine * Fossils * Sheer Lunar Sea * My Bearable Smugness * An Unusual Bat * Evolution * The Rock Pool * The Tarnished Rule * Too Many Characters * Beyond Paraparapara * The Pig Iron Mouse Dooms The Moon * Fat Cat Fable * The Optimistic Hypochondriac * Two Buddhists * The Discus Thrower * Worse Than His Bite * Seeker After Wisdom * The Motherlode * On The Threshold * Bookmark * Educated Shapes * Kafka's Birthday * Soup Of Fools * The Lucky Black Cat * Three Wise Men * Trojan Horse * Be The Change * The City That Was Itself * The Labyrinth * Universe Tower * Vampires! * More Vampires! * Antimatter Pasta * The Pancake Hurler * The Sundial * The Long Ward * The Bomb Scare * The Mice Will Play * Hagouth Town * The Melon Seller * The Dusky Birron Returns * The Flying Fish * The Magical Eye * A Lot On His Platypus * Ship Of Ghouls * Sexing The Confection * Gone With The Wind In The Willows * The Backwards Aladdin * The Iron Age * Lady, Tiger And Protozoon * Cats' Eyes * The Siege * And Follow Me * Her Face Was Flushed * The Dark Horse * Virgil Leading Dante Into Hell Takes A Wrong Turning * The Precious Mundanity * Invisible Letters * Divided Island * Love Keys * Perpetual Motion * The Library * The Underwater Trapeze * Old Eros * Washing Our Hands * Ajax * In Moonville * In Sunsetville * In Eclipseville * Cat O' Nine Tales * Eggs * In My Own Hands * Daggers * Velocity Of A Kiss * When I Discovered Laziness * Fables From Farout Stables * Solomon * Fifty Cups Of Lady Grey * Veronica Lake * Get A Room * Ariadne * The Landscape Player * The End Of The Road * Penal Colony * The Plate Pagoda * The Chopsy Moggy * The Silver Necks * Anton Arctic And The Conquest Of The Scottish Pole * The Thinnest Book In The World * Oranges And The Arrows * Certain Books * The Man Toucan * Don Quixote * The Octopus And The Clock * The Giant Woman * The Sculptors * Fable Of The Flames * The Stone Collector * The Tired Bed * The Lazy Dictator * The Tattoo * The Dice And The Coins * The Illuminations * The Cigar * The Doubles * Weather Patterns * The Explorers * The Wandering Pole * Listening To Leonora * The Windmill * The Colonel's Head * The Pyramid Museum * Mystic Optometrist * Russian Doll * The Wooden Salesman * Arms Against A Sea * Curtains For You * The Chocolate Princess * My Beetroot Brow * The Two Kingdoms * The Hidden Sixpence * How To Wake Up * The Glowing Review * The Atheist Dog * Seven League Boots * Noah's Ark * The Book Pages * Plate Armour * Something More Comfortable * The Seal Of Disapproval * The Casual Comment * Flash In The Pantheon * Chaucer * Small Freedom * Scaffolding * Whirlwind Romance * The Vicious Circle * The Matchmaker * The Blanket Ban * Doom Laden Haven * The Metaphorical Marriage * The Locksmith * Owls Are A Hoot * The Snail Path * Gorgon But Not Forgotten * The Sink Monster * Stale Air * Better The Devil * The Fire Jump * The Holiday Makers * Tarzan In India * Potato Soup * The Infringement * Duke Electron * The Sea Thief * The Stairway Zoo * The Mushroom Cloud * All Your Belongings * The Ledge Nymphs * Geronimo * The Achilles Tendency * Down In The Park * The Cakes Of Gehenna * Double Atlas * The Dirtiest Ararat * A Corking Tale * All The Waiting * The Wrong Lamp * The Strongest Monster * The Opposite Of Moons * Sun Soup * The Unfair Funfair * The Meltwater Republic * Into The Wild * The Bubble Bursts * The Realisation Of Vast Headgear * When Clowns Collide * Cooking Soup On A Burning House * Sinbad Is Glad * Head Office * Shoe Stones * The Parrot * On The Hour * X Marks The Spot * The Speech Bubble * The Reverse Oasis * Bringing It Back * The Wall Builders

The Golden Fleas

The Golden Fleas (2023)

Gloomy Seahorse Press

"The Golden Fleas contains previously uncollected work that is among my earliest surviving fiction. In fact, this new book has been created primarily for those select few readers who have expressed a wish to read all my stories. When I recently examined the contents of my published collections to date I noted that many of the stories I wrote between the years 1989 and 1995 don't appear in any of my books. These stories are cruder than my later fictions, true, but I do believe they have some value..."

Contents:

Interview with the City Treasurer * Circular Reasoning * The World Idiot * Stepping Out * Lucy * The Cellar Door * Landing * Time Lapse * On the Deck * Learning to Fly * Be Like You * Something About a Demon * The Landscape Player * Seven Fables of Yearning * Mr Found in a Bottle * The Queen of Jazz * Dr Perambulator Wants to Marry an Aubergine * The Sealed Room * The New Men * Three Dancers * The Octopus Jar * Walpurgis * Celia the Impaler * The Wardrobe Tree * The Big Lick * Mastitis Groan * The Laughing Policeman in the Foreign Legion * A College Story * Learning to Fall * The Swiss Family Abacus * A Horse Called Man * The King and Eye * The Golden Fleas

Adventures With Immortality

Adventures With Immortality (2023)

Oddness
 

A collection of linked philosophical fantasy stories. Available from Barnes and Noble and elsewhere as a hardback and filled with art by Mike Dubisch.

"In this thought-provoking collection, Rhys Hughes unveils eleven mesmerizing narratives that delve deep into the recesses of eternal life, unraveling the enigmatic threads of the immortal psyche.Every story is a riveting exploration, from the intricate dance of living countless lives to the elusive pursuit of nirvana's enlightenment and even the gravity-defying plunge into the abyss of a black hole."

Contents:

The Planet of Perfect Happiness * Vile Bodhisattva * Identity * Less is More * Misanthropy * The Telescope * A Certain Ratio * The Joyless Eternities of Josiah Juddering * Who is the Giant? * In That Room * The One

The Coffee Rubaiyat

The Coffee Rubaiyat (2023)

Alien Buddha Press

"Settle into the enchanting rhythm of this coffee-themed adaptation of the classic Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, as each stanza awakens the senses with witty, humorous, and thought-provoking reflections on the joys and quirks of coffee culture.

The Coffee Rubaiyat embraces the essence of morning awakenings, midday pick-me-ups, and contemplative sips, all while exploring the comical and heartwarming encounters that revolve around this beloved brew.

This collection celebrates the endless nuances and pleasures that coffee brings. Coffee lovers, literature enthusiasts, and anyone with a penchant for the art of the bean will relish in the fusion of two worlds – the timeless verses of Omar Khayyam and the contemporary charm of Rhys Hughes.

A delightful literary adventure that will leave you yearning for another sip."

Aardvarks: Earth Pig Poetry

Aardvarks: Earth Pig Poetry (2023)

Gibbon Moon Books

"Poems in which aardvarks feature to a greater or lesser extent. The poetry of Rhys Hughes has been compared to that of Spike Milligan, Ogden Nash, Ivor Cutler and Richard Brautigan."

There's an aardvark

on my uncle's shoulder

and he's waiting

for my aunt.

He is a type of aunt-eater,

that creature with a long

sticky tongue.

And so is the aardvark.

I wondered if I had written enough poems about aardvarks to issue a book of aardvark-themed poetry. I went through all my poems to see if this was true. Turns out it nearly was (I had to write a few more to make up the shortfall). Anyway, I put the collection together and here it is...

Lovecraft's Chin

Lovecraft's Chin (2023)

Gibbon Moon Books

A slim volume of humorous poems about the man himself, focussing mainly on his chin and his pantheon. If Edward Lear and Ogden Nash had met Cthulhu (and lived to tell the tale) they might have written about the encounter in a way not too dissimilar to this.

ON A RAFT

Lovecraft on a raft,

a sight

to make you shudder.

He lacks

the strength to pull the oars

but his chin

makes an excellent rudder.

Poems also about Clark Ashton Smith, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Carnacki the Ghost-Finder, M.R. James and others. 

The Jazz Hands Pterodactyl

The Jazz Hands Pterodactyl (2023)

Gibbon Moon Books

THE LITERARY DINOSAUR

The dinosaur who wants

to be a writer

is working on a new book.

He recently ate

a gang of Hells Angels.

He is happy

when he has just finished

a new chapter.

"The poetry of Rhys Hughes has been compared to that of Spike Milligan, Ogden Nash, Ivor Cutler and Richard Brautigan."

Starfish Wish

Starfish Wish (2023)

Gibbon Moon Books

"Once upon a time there was a book, a collection of modern fairy tales and fables, and this book lived in the uncharted regions of availability. It featured 27 stories, and each one of those stories was a prisoner of the book. The book was rather like a dragon in this regard and the stories were like damsels in distress. The book guarded the stories jealously but no knight ever came to rescue them. Until now. Yes, the reader is the true knight and the act of reading is the method by which the stories can be set free. The stories will escape from the book into the head of the reader where they will be free to enjoy life. You are the reader, the hero of this adventure. Unsheathe your eyes and prepare to do battle!"

Contents:

Sinbad's Ear * The Cowardly Custard Apple * The Thinnest Warrior * The Sea Indoors * Where Everyone Wins * Walking the Wrong Plank * The Prodigal Beard * Fable with Turkish Coffee * The Dog-Eared Gods * Starfish Wish * The Mirror in the Looking Glass * Silky Salathuel * The Tongue * The Taste of Turtle Tears * The Thinnest Book in the World * Worse Than his Bite * The Melon Seller * Market Forces * The Backwards Aladdin * The Iron Age * The Underwater Trapeze * The Chopsy Moggy * The Giant Woman * Curtains for You * Double Atlas * The Wrong Lamp * Bringing it Back

Flunkey Monkey

Flunkey Monkey (2023)

Gibbon Moon Books

Poems that monkey around. Poems that would swing from trees and eat bananas if they had limbs and mouths. Poems that are cheeky and a little mischievous. Poems that are rather hairy. Poems that see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, but see, hear and speak lots of absurdity. Poems that use simian similes and monkey metaphors. Monkey-poems.

I crushed grapes with my mighty fists

like an angry ape

and waited for the juice to ferment.

Samson sent

his girlfriend to instruct me to do that

and it’s a mystery

still to me. Wine, wine, wine, Delilah?

Pastel Whimsies

Pastel Whimsies (2023)

Gibbon Moon Books

A concise collection of whimsical stories about ghosts, monsters, mythical heroes, giants, talking cats and pots of custard, divided into four sections: crime, fantasy, science fiction, horror.

Of the twelve short-stories in the collection, ten have never before been published.

Contents:

The Smoothness of Belo Custardo * A Dame Abroad * The Caveman Detective * The Pastel Whimsy * The Chopsy Moggy * Memory Gongs * The Library *What Makes it Go * Sadie Lorelei's Chatter * Crack Hill * Feepy as Cruck * The Critics

Note: The story entitled 'The Library' is a flash fiction that I plan to extend into a full length story and is therefore not yet a part of my official bibliography.

The Knight of Whatever

The Knight of Whatever (2023)

Gibbon Moon Books

Poetry. A chapbook for chaps. Also for chaperones and cheeky chimpanzees. Poems suitable for knights at night and dames in the daylight. Or vice versa. Verses about vice and virtue. Lyrical investigations into the nature of aardvarks, gibbons, and yetis. Ditties about funky ducks and landscapes made of cake.

In other words, poetry suitable for all ages but especially suitable for unsuitable ages. The very young, the very old and the very daft will probably understand.

And even if they don't, the Knight of Whatever will just shrug...

The Wistful Wanderings of Perceval Pitthelm

The Wistful Wanderings of Perceval Pitthelm (2023)

Telos Publishing

"Writer, explorer, inventor, fantastist … join Perceval Pitthelm as he takes you on a journey in the township of Kionga, self-propelled on a pair of massive, mechanical kangaroo legs.

His stories may be wild, but his adventures are even wilder. In a riot of imagination and literary sleight of hand, Rhys Hughes presents an old-style adventure set in East Africa, Brazil and the Sahara Desert."

Contents:

The Knees of Kionga * The Buying and Selling of Bittersweet Longing * The Singing Sands Have Lost Their Voice * Mr Pitthelm's Books